CAUSES OF DISTRESS
Some causes of distress are change, time restrictions, interpersonal problems and guilt. Too many changes in a short period of time, good and bad can cause stress. Don't allow stress to become distress. The biggest cause of distress is losing control of a situation, when you feel overwhelmed or unable to handle a situation. It's when you're without hope. It will kill you physically if you let it and it kills the spirit. Don't let it do that to you. You have the choice.

There is a part of your brain that doesn't know the difference between what you do and what you think you're doing. If you think unhappy, defeated thoughts, your brain will do whatever it takes to make it come to pass. It's called "self-fulfilling prophecy". However, thinking happy, pleasant thoughts is much less stressful for you and those thoughts tend to happen, too. The right side of the brain is creative and emotional. It brings about whatever you believe in.

There are 3 areas where distress gets a stronghold. They are your

1. Feelings

2. Thoughts

3. Circumstances

Changing your life is SIMPLE BUT IT'S NOT EASY.

FEELINGS
How do you feel when you’re distressed? Do you want to stay in bed and hide from the situation? Ignore your feelings. When you do something you especially don't feel like doing, do it first and get it out of the way and reward yourself for doing it.

Take 2 notebooks. In the first one, write down all the negative feelings you have. Label them at the top of the page.

1. Anger

2. Fear

3. Discouragement

4. Jealousy

5. Resentment

6. Whatever is going on in your life

7. Write down the names of each member of your family

Write down everything you want to say about that subject. When you're finished, take it someplace private, read it out loud and then destroy it. This gets some of your negative feelings out in the open and once you've written about them, they tend to have less influence in your life. You'll find your distress level immediately much more manageable.

THOUGHTS
What are some thoughts that discourage you? When you change your thoughts, you'll find that your feelings will also change. Your thoughts determine your feelings. Recognize a negative thought. Your mind is talking to you all the time. Encourage yourself. Develop a support system. Have people you can call to encourage you, to talk things out with who are nonjudgmental.

Worry is when you've done everything you can and you're still thinking about it. Decide not to worry about something until you have to. If you have something due next Tuesday, and you've done all you can, don't worry about it until Monday night.

When you worry, create a plan. See yourself working the plan. Get a clear picture of the results you want. Have a goal. Be very aware of your goal. Create your workable plan to reach your goal.

In your second notebook write down something positive you did or something nice that happened to you each day.

Some people do better talking things out. If you need someone, I'm here. Contact me at lifeskills_intl@yahoo.com to set up an appointment.

CIRCUMSTANCES
There are a lot of circumstances over which you have control. When faced with a stressful situation, think about the worse possible thing that can happen and how you would fix that. Whatever happens can't possibly be that bad.

HELPS

• Dejunk your life

• Create patterns

• Use a punching bag or a pillow to get rid of frustration

• Improve interpersonal relationships

• Understand your personality style

• Be truthful with people. It creates a lot of stress to maintain a lie.

• Ask others at work for information. Draw on their ideas and support.

• Make relationships a priority. Pay attention to other's needs. Listen to them.

• Share your personal feelings. Tell others how you feel.

• Find quality time for others. Even If it must be scheduled, make sure it is scheduled when you're not too tired.

• Focus on the positive in the people you live with, not on how they bug you. Giving sincere praise, not flattery is essential in a healthy family relationship.

• Focus on future goals. Don't bring up the past. Emphasize mutual objectives you can work on together

• Be open to new ideas. Open yourself up to new thoughts and experiences.

• Keep yourself healthy. Eat healthy food. Don't eat a lot of sugar or drink a lot of caffeine.

• Exercise can prevent depression and relieve distress

• Get as much sleep as you need

• Soothe your soul with music

• Do one thing at a time

• Say "no" to requests that stretch you to the limit

• Delegate

• Buy gas for the car before the tank is empty. Get regular oil changes and checkups.

• Keep food, toilet paper and toiletries on hand so you never run out. The same goes for postage stamps, paper and envelopes.

• Keep duplicate keys for home, car and office in secure locations.

© Copyright Echod Enterprise 2000

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